I hate love songs
Their cringey lyrics and their rose-coloured outlook on life
But maybe that’s because I’m not in love
Maybe it’s because I want to be loved
Because I still hold broken memories of what it feels to love.
I tattoo my mind with attachments to fleeting romances and interests and friendships
And to the stranger with the kind eyes
Let me crush on every person that ever was
And let it crush me time and time again.
I feel the need for affection to feel worthy
Why do I need attention to feel worthy?
Our worth measured in likes and followers,
We’re a social media generation with a need for validation
But instead of being on the outside looking in, I’m trapped on the inside looking out.
And the shadows look very much like loneliness here.
My thoughts are suffocating
And they muffle my cries for help
But when I bash on this box and make a crack,
I’m afraid to cut myself on the glass.
You cut the string that pulled me in
And now I’m left desperately trying to tie it back together
Even though I know the ends are frayed.
Pulling on the threads of my sanity, I unravel quicker than I can sew
But no one wants to bear the burden of my thoughts
You want the “cool” girl
Goofy, happy, unphased
We live in a false sense of reality where no one has real problems except ourselves
And we want our friends to reflect that:
But this poison we sip masks the taste of not going through it alone.
And yet I smile
My smile reflecting on the glass that keeps me from fresh air.
Cover by Priscilla Du Preez